goodbye pump. hello guilt.

when maki turned 10 months a couple of days ago, i decided to stop pumping.  my left nipple got re-infected and i was pumping less than 2oz per day.  so relieved to say goodbye to pumping, cleaning pump parts, drinking mother's milk tea and taking motherlove pills.  a couple of people said just to do it for 2 more months to reach his 1st birthday.  i definitely feel guilty about not making it to a full year.  like somehow i failed as a mother.  but for for less than 2oz, it was just not worth it for me.  pumping was making me extremely miserable and i didn't want that negative feeling around my family.  if maki was still nursing, i'd like to believe it would be different.  there's a connection with him while i'm nursing.  but with the pump, it's just awful.  i'm trying to be proud that i reached 10 months.  with a full-time, management job and living in a city where most moms stop at 3 months, i was lucky to last as long as i did.  i'd rather spend the 30 min in the morning playing or feeding maki breakfast and the 30 min at night spending time with mik.  i feel guilty but also free.  definitely bittersweet.  but happy mom means happy family!!!

here are some recent pictures and video of my baby love:

video of maki snacking.  eating mum-mum has never looked so cute!

"hold on, ann-marie.  i gotta group text mama and papa."

"whaaaat?  reeeeaaaally???"

maki likes to pull girls' shirts!  a-ya!

waiting until his 1st bday to cut his hair.  oh boy.

ready for the gym in his track suit

gym time!!!

at our weekly sunday brunch with the lomotan-ursu fam